Edwina (left) and Phoebe Clarke reading up on Thailand.
January 2005
This month:
STORIES
Asking EFMers to apply their learnings to daily life
Twin high school seniors go to Thailand on a wider world mission
"Scenes 1, 2 and 3" from member mission at Church X – work
RESOURCES
Initiatives: In support of Christians in the world
Jurgen Moltmann on the wider world of culture
Two hints for teaching member mission
FOR MEDITATION
What I fall back on in my spirituality
STORIES
Asking EFMers to apply their learnings to daily life
Bob Harvey, a retired priest, has been an Education for Ministry mentor for 21 years. He has been concerned that participants do not always seem to translate what they learn into action in daily life. He has begun to ask at the end of each session, "On the basis of what we have reflected on, what sorts of changes will you make in your life?" Sometimes he adds, "Wherever you are in your daily life – your family, your work, out shopping, whatever." In November, Bob was appointed the EFM coordinator for the Diocese of Arizona to work with people seeking to become mentors and to promote EFM in the diocese. Bob comments: "My experience has been that clergy have done such a good job convincing lay people that the real ministers in the church are those with the funny collars on that it is hard for them to see they indeed have ministries and they can take on all forms and shapes in areas of life that ordained people do not get a chance to touch. It comes down to wanting to believe that the church’s responsibility is to assist the process of God’s kingdom here and now, not hereafter." [EFM (efm@sewanee.edu) is a four-year course for laity in the Bible, church history, liturgy, and theology led by trained mentors in weekly sessions in congregations; participants sign up for one year at a time.]
Contact: Robert W. Harvey, 8084 W Arching Stone Way, Tucson, AZ 85743-5439; 52-744-7810; frbobh@comcast.net
Twin high school seniors go to Thailand on a wider world mission
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Edwina (left) and Phoebe Clarke reading up on Thailand. |
Edwina and Phoebe Clarke, of Willsboro, NY and members of St. John’s Church in neighboring Essex, NY, will each teach English and design and conduct a community project in rural villages outside of Chaing Mai, Thailand. Chaing Mai is 1,000 miles north of the coastline struck by the tsunami. Sponsored by Global Routes, a nonprofit, they leave January 12 to return April 5, 2005. They had chosen Thailand as their place of service in the Fall.
Edwina says, "The church gave me an idea that others were in need and to use your talents to help others – and I expect to help myself probably more than I help them. I expect God to help me through the major culture shock; to help me remember why I am there when times are hard – and when times are fun to remember my purpose too."
Phoebe comments, "The values and morals I learned at church made me want to go there rather than, say, to travel to Europe. I expect God to help me to help others and to have an open mind. Many will be in a time of depression like post-9/11 and I’ll need God’s help to be sensitive to their pain – and to appreciate their religion."
"Scenes 1, 2, and 3" from member mission at Church X
"To make the most of daily life and work – powered by God" is the purpose of Church X, a new church plant located in Boston, MA in the Episcopal Diocese of Massachusetts. The "scenes" come from the worship gatherings on June 20, 2004, about six weeks later, and October 17, 2004. Remember that the setting is informal and that PowerPoint images are constantly projected on a screen that reflect the mood of what is happening at that moment in the liturgy – whether prayer, song, or presentation (the "sermon" at Church X). A more complete description of Church X was part of Member Mission Newsletter #22.
"Scene 1" – the presentation and small group discussion on Sunday, June 20, 2004.
•Presentation: Will Messenger, the pastor, talked about conflict resolution; introduced steps to resolve conflict; and projected them on the screen as he discussed them.
"Gospel-Based Conflict Resolution Process"
Phase 1 (Accept)
1. Restate common grounds; reaffirm commitment to relationship
2. State the problem as you see it
3. Ask the other person to mirror the problem back
4. Do steps 2 and 3 from the other side
5. Be patient and do steps 2 through 4 until problem is clearly stated and heard.
Phase 2 (Follow / act / obey)
1. Brainstorm possible solutions, common grounds; be patient
2. Negotiate something you both can live with
Phase 3 (Keep following / acting / obeying
1. Create an action plan and hand hold its implementation
[Attributed to David McCue and used with his permission.]
•Small group time: Following the sermon, Cliff Hayden spoke up to say he was in a situation that needed resolution. [Cliff and his wife and two daughters came to Church X because it offered "what the church should be, what we wanted out of the church, and what we wanted to put into the church." Cliff’s sharing took up almost all of the small time.] "I’ve got this situation with a guy I view as a friend. We had done some things socially as a family. I was the lead tech person on a large project in software engineering. My friend was part of the team and, at one point, I had used his work on the team to affirm his job security. Well, as the project neared completion, I went on vacation. I left a vital part of the project to my friend to complete. When I got back, he was on vacation. I found he had not done it but had taken on other parts of the project instead; all the while reassuring me that all was fine."
"When he got back, I let him know that I was really disappointed. I said that our plans to continue his work with the project team would be shortened considerably. A day later, he came to say he was shocked and surprised and felt I had over reacted. As for me, I had to step in and spend long hours for many weeks to clean things up. And I had to spend a lot of time reassuring the customers that the job really was nearing completion."
"We do not at all seem to be on the same page with what had happened. We both feel we want to maintain the friendship but, for me, that is impossible unless we do something to sort this out. So with great fear and trepidation, I resolve to make an attempt to use the tools that have just been presented. I will try this method."
"Scene 2"– about six weeks later, Will presented on meeting Jesus through those around us.
•Response and the start of small group time: As usual, Will projected these instructions on the screen along with the specific questions for this week in the small groups.
Response Time until 11 am
Respond on your ownTake a break (bathroom, bagels & coffee)
Go to an art table or the gallery or the prayer stations
Walk around
Join with 3-5 nearby people to respond together
Introduce your dough thing AND/OR
Discuss these questions
Are you facing opposition in anything important in your life?
Is there anything about the Gospel way that seems like it could help resolve it?
What acceptance could God be longing to give you? (Or do you wish God would give you?)
As his small group began, Cliff Hayden shared his play-dough thing, saying, "My play-dough thing today is a person with two gigantic ears. I feel that listening is a gift I am called to do more of and to do more effectively. So I made this guy to emphasize that."
"Scene 3" – the monthly interview about daily work which preceded the presentation; the presentation with midpoint response invited during it; on Sunday, October 17, 2004.
•Daily work interview and commissioning: Will introduced Jim Wooster, Director of Finance at MedEquity Capital. [MedEquity is a small private equity company that invests in health care companies for institutional investors such as JP Morgan and GE Capital and, then, typically, sits on the board as members to help them grow to their next level. Jim and Laura, his wife and a marketing director for John Hancock, had been drawn to Church X by earlier experience of Will’s sermons which in part reflected Will’s previous work as a management consultant.]
What is your work?
"I’m a financial manager so I am basically in charge of keeping track of the finances for the different investments that we make."
What challenges and opportunities do you face in this work?
"I think the main challenge is accuracy. We have twenty small companies that we invest in. I have to make sure the twenty sets of books account for all the money in the right place. You have to be very detail oriented to make sure you are doing things in the right way. Ethics for me is not as big an issue as it is for people who manage large companies. But to lesser degree there is the constant ethic of doing the right thing."
How does your faith help you?
"I think it helps me primarily in my dealings with other people. In most companies there are people that you get along with easily and people you don’t get along with easily. My faith gives me a sense of perspective and of patience. I try to see the strengths and talents of other people and focus on those rather than on what is frustrating. I get both the perspective for the way to handle things and the help to do it."
How can we pray for you?
"Pray for me to be able to deal with the various challenges that I face in my job – in accuracy and in working with other people. And to balance work and family obligations. I am not one to get sucked into overwork but it is a challenge for everyone."
All financial managers are invited to come forward to be commissioned by Church X.
[Three others came forward including Will who serves as treasurer of an elementary school PTA. Four more came forward to lay on hands for the commissioning. The pastor intern asked the questions and led the prayer.]
Q & A: Will you seek to follow Jesus? We will.
Q & A: Will you work to become better equipped by God? We will.
Q & A: Will you serve as a representative of Christ’s Church, and of Church X? We will.
Prayers: Hear our plea, O gracious Lord, and confirm with your heavenly benediction your people who serve as financial managers in your world; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
[N.] In the name of God and of Church X, I commission you financial manager for Christ’s kingdom. O Lord, without whom our labor is lost: We beseech you to prosper all works in your church undertaken according to your holy will. Grant to your workers a pure intention, a patient faith, sufficient success on earth, and the blessedness of serving you in Heaven; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
•Presentation with midpoint response: Continuing with the day’s presentation, Will began by recalling his comments on conflict resolution as he reflected on one of the lessons for the day, Acts 19:22-41 – the story of Paul’s conflict with people of Ephesus. He projected the Gospel-Based Conflict Resolution Process on the wall again; began a story to illustrate its use; and, as he does every Sunday, paused to ask this week, "Did anyone try this method? Did it work? Be honest."
Cliff Hayden volunteered. "Yes, I have. I committed to speak to this colleague about our difference of opinion. While we didn’t go through the whole process, we did make a real effort to tell each other our own side of the story. And, probably, one of the most valuable things that we each got out of my willingness to reach out and to initiate the conversation was a real statement from both of us that we wanted to preserve the friendship. And that we, probably, will not ever completely agree about what happened. But we do each understand much better why it is that the other sees things the way that he does. We do not view the other person as bad. We do see it differently."
Will went on in his presentation to finish the story of conflict he had begun and talked of self-sacrifice as essential to resolving conflict. ". . . The kind of sacrifice I am talking about is basically just a sacrifice of your own pretensions of being better than anyone else. . . "
Contact: Will Messenger, Pastor, c/o 84 Lexington Street, Belmont, MA 02478; 617-489-8768; will.messenger@church-x.com.
RESOURCES
Initiatives: In support of Christians in the world: a monthly newsletter that brings unique and workable insight to the issues of corporation life, labor, the local community, the poor, the farm, marriage – if Christians are there, this journal tells their stories. The National Center for the laity, PO Box 291102, Chicago, IL 60629; f773-776-9036; wdroel@cs.com; $15 suggested donation.
Jurgen Moltmann addressing "Control is Good, But Trust is Better" – the distinguished German theologian is on both audio and video at http://www.yale.edu/faith/initiatives/smc_2004.html as part of a conference on moral leadership in the wider world of culture, 9/16-17/04, sponsored by the Yale Center for Faith & Culture; for more information, david.w.miller@yale.edu.
Two hints
• Does "God is most interested in how we live Monday to Saturday; Sunday is to help us to do it better" seem to make worship secondary? Try: "The test of Sunday is how we live on Monday."
• Each of us has six mission fields all the time. One of the six may be central at one moment but we cannot ignore the other five. So, challenge each other to talk of more than "my mission" as if one has only one mission field.
FOR MEDITATION – What I fall back on in my spirituality
From an alumni relations person in a university:"As someone in a new position, with more authority to make decisions and therefore impact a greater number of people, my faith has been essential to my peace of mind. There are times when I do something helpful, and the response is wonderful. There are other times when a decision is not agreed upon by all, and then I feel that individuals may try to avoid me, or become cool in their interactions. It is then that I have to remember basic Gospel principles; I am called on to forgive (the behavior that hurts my own feelings) and forget - to continue to be as helpful as possible, as friendly as I can be, and look for opportunities to build bridges. It can be difficult - but I feel called upon to try as best I can."
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